Something To Chew On

The pastor of the church we visited on Sunday talked about how so many people put conditions on Jesus. "Ok, God. If you're really there, if you really love me, then prove it and do this (fill in the blank)." Or we put God in a box and let him just become big enough to make him relevant to our lives. But who are we to do that?

If we choose to reject Jesus, or even acknowledge him but not let him reign in our life, we will not just stop looking. We have an ache in our life, in our heart, that we long to fill. So we will look. To people, to things, to even ideals of our own selves. We will search and long and live for those things, but we will never find fulfillment. We will look forever until we look to Jesus. He created that ache in us to draw us to Himself. But we still choose to look away.

It's funny how even as believers, we are constantly straying and looking away from Christ to other things. I know for me, it's a constant battle. I'm always finding myself wanting and trying to control my own life to reach a desired outcome. And every time I find myself disillusioned. God is constantly thwarting my plans. It's like he shines a flashlight on my heart and shows me what's really going on. He reveals to me the insecurity, the fear, the pain, anything in my heart that I hang onto that is only hurting me. And even though it's a constant, painful struggle, he always gives me the strength and courage to give those things up. It's terrifying sometimes, to give up my will, even if its unhealthy for me. I want to hang onto it because it's something tangable, something I can control. It's natural for us to want to control. But when I'm trying to control my own life, I'm not free.

I've learned that the only time that I can be truly happy, completely free to enjoy my life and experience the fullness of God's love and grace to me is when I have given everything that I want up.

I can't lose sight of God's promise of future grace to me(an eternity with Him in heaven) or forget what He has done for me in the past(die for my sins).
I have to remember how he's loved me when I've felt dejected, how he's shown me mercy when I have done the 'unforgivable', how he's given me peace when my life was in chaos, how he's given me strength when I thought I would never make it through. I can't let myself forget those times. That is God's proven love and faithfulness to me. He has never let me down and he promises to continue to be faithful in the future, right up until the day that He comes again.

That's the only time when you can truly be free. When you surrender your desires to him. Yes, it's terrifying. But at the same time it's exciting just knowing that God loves me and He's in control.

Yes, I know all this, but sometimes it's good to hear it again and it's especially helpful to hear it in a new, fresh sort of way.

"Yet I call this to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
-Lamentations 3:21-23